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At first blush, things didn’t look so hot: 61% of conversations take place between an older man and a younger woman, and in almost half of them, the age gap is at least five years older.The older-woman-younger-man combo is significantly more rare (appearing in less than one-third of all conversations), and in only 12% of these is the woman at least five years older.When women start conversations, they tend to message men closer to their own age.By 55, they’ll send more than half their messages to men at least 4 years their junior.In college I studied Computer Science and forgot how to talk to women.There just weren’t any of them, anywhere (or if there were, they were in hiding).The older men get, the younger the women they message (relative to their own age).

They were even more eager to pick my brain on all things female when I started working as an engineer and data scientist at Ok Cupid, where I analyzed data from millions of daters to get a sense of the “correct” way to date for men, women, and everyone in between.

But what I soon realized was that sometimes the best way to date is to go off script.

So that’s what this column, Undressed, is about: gender, social norms, dating rules — and what happens when we break them.

Once they reach 35, women actually respond follows dating age conventions, but what about those women who want to flip the norm on its head?

How difficult is it for them to date a younger man?

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