Dating for loners

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Masculinity doesn’t kill people; it’s those mysterious toxins that are to blame.When good people cling on to a value system that is killing others by the million, they do so by insisting what we have isn’t the true, pure version.It implies there is a non-toxic, healthy alternative.

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One can of course argue that this is just an unfortunate coincidence.We’re afraid that without these boxes in which to retreat, we’d lose all individuality.But strip away the so-called toxic aspects of masculinity: the aggression, the violence, the hate, the guns, and what are you left with?Don’t mistake the poor imitation for the thing in itself, even if the former’s all you’re ever going to get. Rather than admit that the poor imitation is all that there is – that there’s nothing behind it, no hidden, non-hierarchical, playful spectrum – we kid ourselves that there’s something worth saving.We rename our inner sense of self our “gender identity”.

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